Maledictis
by ladysihf
Summary: Loki lies waiting in his cell. Sif works to push all thoughts of the dark god out of her head. But the ex-lovers are drawn together like magnets, and when they meet, legions will fall before them. While the wicked are confounded... Call them among the blessed. (Loki x Sif, contains violent and adult themes.)


MALEDICTIS

•

_voca mecum benedictis_

•

_The sky was torn open, demons and insectile monsters pouring through the rip and materializing around her. _

_Asgard was burning. _

_Soldiers and civilians alike were battling the unholy beings, but more and more were appearing. Asgardians fell around her, children screamed their last scream, and the vengeance-filled shriek of mothers soon followed._

_She reached for her sword where it was always strapped to her waist, but grasped only flimsy, diaphanous white fabric. A dress that flowed thinly about her shrouded her warrior's body, and there were no weapons to be drawn. Hair unbounded and whipping across her face from the ash-laden wind, she watched as her people fell and died around her. She stood still, not frozen but separate. The green grass of the makeshift battlefield was burned and bloodied, tramped into the dirt, the ancient buildings crumbling to the ground. There was nothing to do, no way to win, and she felt despair stab icicles into her heart._

_A legion of monsters crowded around her, and she could do nothing as she was forced to her knees. Fabric was torn way from smooth skin, sacrificial blood was drawn with a quick slice of a demon's talon, and suddenly she was facing a throne. Two thrones. One occupied, one empty. She was led, naked and bleeding, to the second throne. Sitting upon the structure, formed from human and alien bone, she turned to the occupant of the other horrible seat. His face, bloodless against the blackest hair, was grimly amused._

_"Ah, Sif. I loved you well when we were young."_

_And his dagger flew to her eye._

_•_

Sif bolted upright gasping, and a sob burst out of her chest. Her skin was hot, terribly hot, but a layer of cold sweat broke out over it. The nape of her neck was nauseatingly damp, and Sif struggled out the nest of tangled blankets she'd kicked around in her sleep. Somehow, she'd slid from her wide bed to the cold stone floor, and her arms and thighs were scraped and bruised from her thrashing about. She lurched forwards on numb legs to collapse before her toilet, and violently heaved up her dinner.

Tears leaking from the corners of her eyes, she wiped her mouth and sighed raggedly.

This was the twelfth night.

The same damn dream, over and over and _over_ for twelve nights- it was driving Sif mad. _He_ was there during the day, creeping into the thoughts at the corners of her mind. She tried to drive thoughts of him away with training and battles, and could forget him while she looked through the haze of bloodlust. When that failed, she started bedding eager men and women of the court, drowning his voice in the cries of other lovers. And she was getting much better at ignoring the phantom whispers while the sun was still up.

But in her dreams, all of the effort she put into forgetting about him crashed down upon her, and all she saw was his face. Ice-pale skin, ink black hair, slightly chapped pink lips that were forever twitched up in a self-satisfied smirk. And then there were his eyes. Those eyes like nebula-rimmed tunnels, that should have been evil and empty, were filled to the brim with pain and love and broken promises.

Her love broke him. Her love, and her taking it all away, drove him over the edge. And she'd paid for it in blood, with fire and death of her family, with the knowledge that the weight of the delicate human lives he'd ended was on her shoulders.

She, the distinguished Lady Sif, had once been a teenaged girl with a foolish thought about love. And he'd been lonely, and so lovely, and she spent years fitting her mouth to those chapped pink lips. But she broke their hearts and now he was gone and he was desecrated, her beautiful love, he was all alone. Left to drift in a cold, unforgiving universe.

And it all came to her in her nightmares.

_"I loved you well when we were young."_

She loved him still. But there was nothing she could do, when he was imprisoned miles beneath her feet, in the heart of the dungeons of Asgard.

Gripping the large bath beside her, Sif rose shakily to her feet. Trying to avoid her reflection in the mirror above, she washed her face in the sink and brushed her teeth. And then she looked up. Her eyes were dim, bruised crescents underneath showing her lack of sleep. Hair snarled and dull, lips chapped, skin pale and ashen. Her beauty that was so often exalted fell flat with her grief, but she tried on a terribly fake smile and got ready for her morning just the same.

•

_She was all soft skin and dark hair, amber eyes melting his soul. They embraced on sweet smelling grass in an empty meadow, the world rolled out beneath them. He loved her and he showed her his adoration, with caresses of his fingers and tongue. And she came alive beneath his skin, sparking lust and devotion. When the joined, the heavens sang and the gods wept. _

_Later, she rolled over to pierce him with her gaze._

_"Why must you choose power over us?"_

_And he cried out as she fell limply to the ground, blood making a crimson trail down her cheek from her mouth._

•

Loki opened his eyes with a start, remaining frozen on his bed. Adrenaline pumped through his Jotun veins, and his heart fluttered rapidly in his chest, but he did not move. He stared at the one solid wall in his cell, pretending that he was alone, pretending that when he rolled over she would be laying next to him.

She wasn't, and he dropped his fantasy with a sorrowful sigh.

It was his twelfth night in the dungeons of Asgard, and he was losing hope quickly.

Frigga had been to visit him a few times, had provided him with luxuries the other prisoners did not have. He was sure that if Odin knew how his cell was furnished, he would be harshly punished, but it was not as if he made a regular trip down to see his black sheep of a son. As he'd said, it was only because of Odin's love for Frigga that Loki was even still alive, and she'd had to _beg_ for her adopted son's life.

No, Odin would not take anything else away from Loki, because that would involve thinking about him. He'd rather focus on his shining golden boy, Thor, who got _everything_ Loki had wanted. The love of their father, the admiration of the Nine Realms, the throne, the companionship of the Lady Sif...

_Don't think about her_, Loki berated himself. _There's nothing to do about her anymore. She chose her path, and you chose yours._

And he cursed himself, again, for his path taking him away from her. It had been years ago when they'd snuck away from the city and let their passion explode in dark corners of the castle, but as they'd grown up they'd only desired each other more.

They told no one.

Sif and Loki knew of Thor's affection for the Lady warrior, and though Sif didn't return his sentiments, she did not wish to start conflict between the princes. She also did not desire the scrutiny that would be laid upon her, should she be publicly seen as Loki's beloved. So she made Loki swear to keep their secret quiet.

They grew up in love, and became older and more sophisticated copies of their passionate young selves. Sif did nothing but grow stronger and more beautiful, and Loki more clever and yearning for recognition. There was no way they would have lasted, despite the strength of their bond. Sif was loyal and good, and Loki knew that he was on a darker road. Sif watched in despair as he traveled down it, until she couldn't stand by anymore.

On a hot, humid night during the Asgardian summer, while the air was ripe with the yells of victory and celebration after a particularly gruesome battle, Loki approached Sif. She was leaning on a balcony railing silhouetted against the sky, standing tall and proud. They were far away from the feast, as alone as they ever were.

He reached her side and gently touched her arm. When she turned to face him, he saw the tears shimmering in her ocher eyes that she was fighting to contain. Loki pulled Sif to him, wrapped her in his embrace, and ducked his face into the crook of her neck. Panting wildly, his lips found her ear.

"Don't say it, Sif." He pleaded, knowing what she intended even as she wound her arms around his neck and clung to him. "Don't say it."

Pulling back, he could see that the tears had spilled down her cheeks, and _gods_ she was beautiful, and she was still, for the moment, his-

He kissed her then, warm and steady and pleading. She responded, and they continued like that for ages, the sorrow of her tears painting their lips. When finally she broke away, she rested her head on his chest and sobbed.

"Oh, Loki. Why must you choose power over us?"

And there was nothing he could say, no reassurance he could give, for he knew that he could not lie to his love. And they separated, and mourned their broken love, and Loki finally shattered. He did what he could to take the throne and failed. He tried to rule on Earth- failed. And it was with the help of Sif's sword that he was brought down, and _nothing_ burned him like that did.

Now he had no future, no comfort, and no way out of his blasted cell. The guards mocked him, his father cursed him, and there was nothing for him to live for.

Unless...

Springing up from his bed, Loki strode across his cell to where his mother had placed his desk, and drew from it a pad of paper and a quill. Scribbling out a hasty note, he addressed to to one Lady Sif, snapped his fingers, and watched it disappear. Loki walked back to his bed and reclined on in leisurely, waiting.

* * *

A/N: Hi, new readers! I'm very excited to start my first Sifki fic. I'm hoping updates will be every two weeks or so, maybe sooner, depending on my inspiration level. This fic will contain smut, and if that's something you're averse to reading, I will have a warning at the top of each chapter that contains it. (Although I don't understand why anyone wouldn't like smut, myself.) I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, and I can't wait to get this rolling!

x,

ladysihf


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